Bad Day About To Get Worse

Polite Way to Pee

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite."

What about you Peter, how would you say it?"

Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be
right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at
the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for
once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to
meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted...

Is it true???

How would your life change if you earned an extra $120,000 online this year?

Smart Kid!

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Harry: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)

Harry: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Harry: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Shake hands"

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Harry: "Yup"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Harry: "Tent"

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." (Principal was looking restless and bit tense)

Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Harry: "Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Harry: "Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put him in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

Ever wonder...

Rise and shine :)

..why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
..why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
..why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
..why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
..why doctors call what they do "practice"?
..why you have to click on "Start" to stop Microsoft Windows?
..why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
..why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
..why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?
..who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
..why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
..why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
..why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
..why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
..why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
..if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
..why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (..and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts" (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone.

Seven Wonders Of The World

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.

"The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:

1. To see
2. To hear
3. To touch
4. To taste
5. To feel
6. To laugh
7. And to love

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!

A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man. Don't be too busy to pass this along.

Girlfriends...

On this day when I'm missing my friends... here's something about girlfriends...

I sat under an Oak tree in Wyoming on a summer day, drinking iced tea and visiting with my Mother.

"Don't forget your girlfriends," Mother advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. "No matter how much you love your husband, you are still going to need girlfriends.Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.And remember that girlfriends are not only friends, but sisters, daughters and other relatives too."

What a funny piece of advice, I thought. Hadn't I just gotten married? Hadn't I just joined the couple-world? I was now a married woman, for goodness sake, not a young girl who needed girlfriends. But I listened to my Mom.

I kept contact with my girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, gradually I came to understand that Mom really knew what she was talking about.

Here is what I know about Girlfriends:

Girlfriends bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you need help.

Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets.

Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it.

Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don't.

Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're usually honest.

Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices.

Girlfriends might send you a birthday card, but they might not. It does not matter in the least !

Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.

Girlfriends pull you out of jams.

Girlfriends don't keep a calendar that lets them know who hosted the other last big party!!

Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that comes!

Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and when the hard times come.

Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend.

Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.

Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.

My daughters, sisters, family, and friends bless my life!

When we began this adventure we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead.

Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Pass this on to your girlfriends/sisters/daughters. I just did (to all my girlfriends reading this).

All-time favourite car!

Mini Cooper S... Whoa!

David Copperfield Found Fountain Of Youth!

Friend sent me this snippet from www.i4u.com.... Do you think it's true?

I am not making this up. It is on bloody Reuters: Famous Magician David Copperfield says he found the Fountain of Youth on one of the Bahamas Islands he bought recently.

Apparently if you drop dead leaves or near dead bugs into the magic water, they become full of life again. Mr. Copperfield has hired biologists and geologists to figure out how the effect of the water on humans might be.

To live forever is a ancient dream of human kind. We are (at least in the industrial nations) are anyway getting older because of advances in medicine and the convenient life. I do not think we are in the need for Copperfield Bottled Water.
See also the David Copperfield site.

TV in Stores!

The wait is over! Television is in stores now! Go grab it!



Check out Pete's newly revamped website while you're there...

Fire at the old Swettenham Bus Terminal

Trailed two fire engines yesterday evening during rush hour and found this. The old Swettenham Bus Terminal was on fire! Massive jam during rush hour yesterday evening causing the fire engines delay in getting to the site. Talk about motorists who are supposed to obey rules. As the fire engines were trying to rush to the scene, lorries and cars were just not willing to give way. Screeching sirens went unheeded. Sigh... What has become of the world...

Another big day...

It's my sister's birthday today and it started to make me wonder... how fast time flies??? I can still remember the fights and quarrels we used to have when we were little and now she's all grown up and married! Even talking about having babies next year... When I think back on those times, I can't imagine us being mothers when we're still like babies at times. Oh well... that's life I guess... It will go on...

Think about it!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why in the world would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?

Happy Birthday PC!

Tomorrow, August 12,2006 marks the 25th anniversary of the Personal Computer. First developed by IBM in 1981, the PC was touted as something "for just about everyone who has ever wanted a personal system in the office, on the university campus or at home".

We couldn't agree more.

A pity we can't all give our PCs a day off though!

For those of us who grew up with computers, it might seem that the beige box has been around forever, but on Saturday morning you might like to wish your PC a happy 25th birthday.

It was back in 1981 that IBM took the wraps off its first Personal Computer, and it was subsequently launched with great fanfare in Australia 16 months later.

Brian Finn, IBM's managing director at the time, described the PC as "the computer for just about everyone who has ever wanted a personal system in the office, on the university campus or at home".

A starter system cost $4273 (in Australian Dollars) and featured 64K memory, a 160KB disk drive, ran on Microsoft's Disk Operating System (DOS) and included a keyboard and monitor.

In the two years after the launch of the IBM PC, it is estimated that hundreds of thousands of units were sold worldwide, and as it became the dominant force in the market throughout the 1980s, the decade also gave birth to the adage: "No one ever got fired for buying IBM."

Although IBM was the first to ship a Personal Computer to market, the company's machine was not the first to bring microprocessor technology to the masses. That movement was born in 1976 when Apple rolled out the Apple II computer.

Despite the IBM brand becoming virtually synonymous with PCs during the '80s, the company's strength in the corporate market was forged through its historical association with the massive computers that predated microprocessors, typically run by teams of specialists charged with feeding in instructions.

What proved to be IBM's great strength in the Personal Computer market was its broad industry support from a range of software and hardware players, an open architecture that encouraged third-party development, and attractive prices.

The decade also gave birth to a precursor to the laptop, with IBM's "Portable Personal Computer" hitting the market in 1984. Weighing in at 30 pounds, the machine was touted as being able to "travel where the work is".

The Personal Computer spawned a number of rivals throughout the '80s and a whole new market evolved based on IBM "clones", which ultimately proved a generous source of income for the company in licence fees.

Source: The Age

My first monorail ride

Finally, my first KL Monorail Ride. Was quite scary though coz the whole train vibrates and shakes when it's moving. Wonder why...

My Big Day...

One of the best celebrations I've had in years.... Lazed around till late and had a wonderful time up in Genting... Hot choc up in the highlands with the cool (or rather cold) breeze blowing... Won some at the 'tables' as well ;)

Are we getting old?

We're getting old, right?

You still talk about Doraemon whereas kids today talk about Pokemon. We are from the Doraemon generation and they are from the Pokemon generation.

Let's see. The majority of students in universities today were born in 1983.... They are youth.

For them, they have never heard of "We are the World, we are the Children..."

And the "Uptown Girl" they know is by Westlife not Billy Joel.

For them, there have always been only one Germany and only one Vietnam. AIDS exists since they were born.

CD exists since they were born.

Michael Jackson is already whitened.

John Travolta is always round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy could be a god of dance.

They believe that Charlie's Angels and Mission Impossible are just new films out last year.

They can never imagine a black and white screen for a computer.

They never know Pac-Man.

They can't believe a black and white television ever existed and they don't even know how to switch on a TV without a remote control.

And they never understand how we could go out without a mobile phone when we were in university...

Let's check if we're getting old...

1. You understand what was written above and you smile.

2. You need to sleep more, until afternoon, after a night out.

3. Your friends are getting married.

4. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computer.

5. When you see teenagers with mobile phones, you shake your head.

6. You developed more and more feelings about your work. It's not your life.

7. You spend less and less time talking on phone with your friends daily.

8. You meet your friends from time to time, talking about the good old days,repeating again and again all funny stories your experienced together.

9. Having read this, you are thinking of forwarding it to some other friends. You think they will like it too.....

Ha..ha...ha....Yes, you're getting old.

Sunrise Jazz & Rhythm Fest 2007

Anyone went for the Jazz Fest this year? This is the 7th time I'm there and it still rocks! Asiabeat will always be Asiabeat. Never miss that for anything. This year I managed to catch Shelley Leong and the Jazz Odyssey.

Finally bought Az Samad's CD Acoustic Gestures.

Audrey Hepburn's Beauty Tips

A favourite poem of Audrey Hepburn by Sam Levenson. She read it to her sons Christmas eve of '92.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone ...

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.